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  • Writer's pictureRob

The Hundred-Ninety-Eighth (Marriage Part 2)

I hope you had a wonderful week and were able to identify if you had any worldly things that needed to be purged from your life.  I truly believe that we’re in a time where YHWH is calling His people to come out of all the evil things that have been reused over time, only changing forms, and especially those things that have been made to look like they are worshiping Him.  I think this is a Revelation 18:4-type season, but we cannot follow that direction unless we take the time to look into things and their origins.  

This week, we’re going to re-start taking a look at marriage.  If you recall about a year and a half ago, we looked at marriage, but focused on more of the legal or contractual aspects of it and what it represented spiritually about our relationship with YHWH (hence our “Part 2” title this week).  This time, we’re going to look at marriage as a whole, what it is, its hierarchy, the roles we have and what we’re called to do in it.

When we take a look at a topic like this, it’s important to know and understand any structures that are in place according to scripture.  For example, in Yeshua’s ekklesia, His church, He is the head, which means He is the leader (Colossians 1:18).  All those in His ekklesia have their own roles and responsibilities, but we all follow Him and no one is put above anyone else in this way.  In fact, based on His sacrifice and resurrection, He has also been placed over all things in heaven and on earth (Ephesians 1:22).    

In marriage, there is a hierarchy as well, and we’ll cover that next week, but first we must go back to the beginning and understand what marriage is according to YHWH.  After all, He was the one who created it, so in order to figure out His intention for marriage we need to see how He laid it out at the beginning.  If we try to look at how marriage is today in order to figure out what it is, we will only come up with a corrupted version because man, through sin and hardness of heart, has all but destroyed what YHWH intended.


On the sixth day, YHWH created man and woman (Genesis 1:27).  They were given the command to “be fruitful and multiply,” and subdue the earth, ruling over every creature He created (Genesis 1:28).  Already, by these two verses, we can start to see YHWH’s intention for marriage.  Man and woman are not only to be a team and work together to subdue the earth, ruling over the creatures, but also to conceive children to the point of filling the earth with them.    


As a side note, the word used for “subdue” here is the Hebrew word kabash.  This word means to subjugate by force, or bring something into bondage.  It is used in the context of not only slavery (2 Chronicles 28:10), but also assault (Esther 7:8).  One of YHWH’s commandments to Adam and Eve was to forcefully dominate the animals on earth, and while there is a right way and wrong way to do this, the bottom line is that a hierarchy was put in place by YHWH where man and woman were over animals.  This hierarchy was destroyed when they let a serpent convince them to sin (Genesis 3:1-7).

So, two commandments were given, to procreate and to rule everything on the earth, but there’s something else that’s key to the account of the creation of man that adds to our understanding of YHWH’s design for marriage.  The summary of YHWH’s creation of man states that they were created male and female and then given the order to be fruitful, but the more detailed description of their creation shows that not only was there a purpose for Eve in relation to Adam, there was a specific method in which she was created.  Initially, it was only Adam that YHWH created, but when He identified that Adam needed help, He decided to create Eve (Genesis 2:18, 20).  Eve was made to help Adam and also to provide companionship for him, since YHWH identified that being alone was not good for Adam.

Eve was also not made in the same way as Adam, and the process of her creation, and its implications, are a theme that you can see throughout scripture.  Eve was created from a rib of Adam, and this led to two things (Genesis 2:21-22).  The first is that Eve was called אִשָּׁ֔ה, or ishshah.  This word means woman, but interestingly it also is translated to wife (Genesis 21:21, 24:3-4, 7, 24:37, etc.) which indicates that being a wife is a primary role for a woman.  The other aspect of this word is that it is an extension of the Hebrew word for man, אִישׁ, or ish, which acknowledges that the process of her creation involved taking something from man and creating her from it.

The other thing this process of Eve's creation led to was the theme you see so many places in scripture: a theme of restoration.  Scripture says that because woman was created out of man, a man will leave his parents to be united to his wife and they will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).  Yeshua even quoted this when being questioned about divorce (Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7-8) and Paul quoted it when talking about uniting with Yeshua in spirit (1 Corinthians 6:16-17, Ephesians 5:31-32).  Clearly, this is an important concept, and it connects what YHWH created at the beginning not only with how we should look at marriage today but also how we should look at our relationship with Yeshua.  It is about bringing back together that which was once separated.  Adam's rib was separated from him, and his marriage to Eve restored that to him.  When they sinned, it separated man from YHWH, and Yeshua's death and resurrection allows us to be restored to Him.

Our roles as man and woman, husband and wife, at the most fundamental level, are to live, operate, and serve and worship YHWH as one flesh.  This concept is easily forgotten as we go about our day to day lives, and certainly has been twisted and corrupted by the world through sin and the works of The Adversary and those that work for him.  We will start to get into how we live out this concept as a part of this multi-week study of marriage, but first we must remind ourselves what marriage actually means, what its definition is.  Otherwise, we will get deceived into thinking it’s something else, and will unknowingly enter into marriage with someone we would never consider spending the rest of our lives with.

The definition of marriage is actually quite simple, and we’ve actually just talked about it: becoming one flesh.  The world tells us that sexual relations are just something people do to either feel good, have fun, release tension, or “test drive before you buy.”  It teaches that there is no consequence, no lasting meaning, essentially no importance to sexual relations, but at the same time it says that sexual relations are vitally important to a healthy relationship.  Clearly, these two views are in dissonance to one another, which is typical of things promulgated by evil.  How can this act between two people be just a way to see if they are compatible before marriage (the world’s definition of marriage) and yet mean something so much that if you don’t have a healthy sexual relationship with your marriage partner your marriage will be doomed to fail?

The truth is that sex is marriage.  Once that act occurs, in the eyes of YHWH and in the eyes of His Law, the two individuals engaged in that act have now become one flesh.  You can see this in the fact that according to His Law, if two individuals had sexual relations without being married the man was to marry the woman and could never divorce her (Deuteronomy 22:28-29).  And of course, there are the laws regarding adultery, which required the offenders to be put to death (Leviticus 20:10, Deuteronomy 22:24).  Clearly, sexual relations mean more than just having fun or “test driving” to YHWH.  They mean the two individuals are married, and if they were already married at the time they have now entered into another marriage if they have sex with someone else.  Additionally, man has found out now through studies that sex actually changes someone physically.  So, this is not just a spiritual joining but a lasting physical joining, confirming scripture in that the two individuals “become one flesh.”  

We also find through Yeshua’s teaching, that it’s not even just the physical act of sex with someone other than your spouse that is considered adultery.  He stated that even thinking about it, lusting after someone other than your spouse, is the equivalent of the physical act (Matthew 5:27-28).  This shouldn’t be surprising, because there are laws against coveting, which is an entirely mental act in which you desire something someone else has, and the law even includes coveting someone else’s wife (Exodus 20:17).  

We’re going to leave it there for this week, but what we’ve found so far is that YHWH’s definition of marriage is not some man-made legal contract that’s under the cognizance of the man-made government that the man and a woman are subject to.  It is a combining of two individuals who have found each other and decided to live in concert with each other for the rest of their lives who then, by having sexual relations, have consummated that marriage and become one flesh.  This is an important concept to understand, and even more important to live by.  Without living by it, we will end up joining ourselves spiritually and physically with multiple people, thereby sinning and inviting evil into our lives.

We will continue our study of marriage next week, but as you go through this week take a moment to reflect on your life and whether or not you have lived by YHWH’s concept of marriage.  If you haven’t, repent and ask Him for forgiveness, a purging of that sin from your record.  Whatever your situation is, whether you’re married and this was prior to marriage, whether you’ve already committed to not continuing those sinful acts, or whether you’re not married and are engaging in sexual activity, repent and turn to YHWH.  Sex is a serious act with real consequences both physically and spiritually and you need to live your life according to that.  If not, you are not being obedient to YHWH, which means you are walking away from Him and inviting evil into your life.

Shabbat shalom and YHWH bless you!

-Rob and Sara Gene

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